he got in his cab that morning in a sore mood. his wife, yuna, had forgotten to turn on the coffee maker when she awoke, as usual, one hour before he did. she used this time to get both of them ready for the day. this included but was not limited to; laying out his… Continue reading on the coming apocalypse and the desire for a warm body in your bed.
let me tell you about my heart
my heart is a quiet brick house at the end of a long road of trees surrounded by a cornfield. 216 West Cunningham Rd., Winnebago, IL. the “bagel house”, my sister abby, then 3, called it before we move in. we sleep on the kitchen floor on mattresses for a year after moving in. the… Continue reading let me tell you about my heart
politics & chiffon.
It was salmon pink chiffon. Almost enough said: if you’re comparing your aesthetic to raw fish, you’re not in a good spot. And I was not in a good spot. It was supposed to be hot girl summer after a full year of the COVID-19 pandemic, in which I had lived with my parents and… Continue reading politics & chiffon.
new haven.
I. This story begins where it always does, in the arms of one you love. This story ends where it always does, thrust out into the cold of not-love. This story begins where it should, in youth. This story begins where it should, in foolishness. This story reverberates through a decade. It begins and ends… Continue reading new haven.
yearning
fucking hurts it makes your veins swell up coming to the surface of your skin jonesing for release can you touch me can i pour myself into you do you want me to? like a child throwing a temper tantrum who has only kicked the ground 14 times must kick it 15 before their fire… Continue reading yearning
stupid things.
how do i make it rise up through me through my skin through flesh and past all the complicated bits i nod and agree and yes and yes of course of course we wouldn’t want that, no that is smart and true and important but how can i say the not smart thing how can… Continue reading stupid things.
manu.
I don’t know how to begin but when I think of the beginning it makes me feel something. To a boy I once teased Far too much and unkindly Don’t you know That’s just what kids do on the playground Boys will be boys Maybe he likes you This boy is a funny mix of… Continue reading manu.
logica
my logical mind can't let go and i want it to want it to sigh at the sound of your voice and moan when it feels it i want it to exclaim things and say this is costing me something and say i don't know how to not give something up to you do you… Continue reading logica
29
29 years of age 29 years of giving and checking and soothing and loving and where am I in all of this did I get cropped out and what do I do now where do I go and who do I have I have so much anger Anger is not attractive in a woman Don’t… Continue reading 29
love after midnight
i don’t want to show my soft insides to anyone with sandpaper for skin i will show them to you if you promise to disappear after midnight the glass slipper kind of love doesn’t shatter it just... retreats. the way middle aged couples do their kids leaving the nest looking across at someone they’ve never… Continue reading love after midnight
how to have a body.
my body is.. it looks nice people like to look at it. and sometimes the looking makes me feel alive. but sometimes it makes me invisible and i can't even see myself: hips, newly grown wider than the narrow path, i squeeze through between billy's desk and mine, gone. my bellybutton, forever an okay body… Continue reading how to have a body.
dark matter
it's silence. it's blood rushing through veins. with nowhere to rush to. even your blood losing purpose. all dressed up with nowhere to go. you no longer warm to the touch your nether regions lighting up with something else besides the entanglement of limbs but the entanglement of opposite impulses firing it's the sound of… Continue reading dark matter
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